the world in a swing.

its funny how my existence has been reduced to nightly swings in the school garden where i do nothing but think of crafting a poem. listening to the rhythmic swings of that rusty contraption,while looking at the stars and indulging in the luxury of the soothing nite breeze, u dont want to do anything but juz give shape to those amorphous thoughts that float mockingly in your mind.

but sumtimes even this would juz wear u out. wear u out thin. and when ur nothing more than a single ply, it hits u. hits u hard. how lonely we all really are.

i usually look to the stars for comfort. thinking, that no matter what that i could always, always pick a star to keep me company. juz pluck one out of the vaulted sky and dwindle it between my fingers. but how foolish of me.

we are ultimately alone. alone with nothing but our thoughts. its funny really. we try to surround ourselves with friends and enemies, thinking that at the end of it all there would at least be someone there waiting for u. without a care in the world if it be friend or foe, at least, there would be sumone. but loneliness is a fate that awaits us all. just as we are born alone, the gaping mouth of the grave also only awaits one. how foolish of me.

hey, i noe it does sound a tad over- dramatic, but nowadays i juz seem to find myself alone. even in the hustle and bustle of the school day, there would be pockets where i would juz lock myself away in the corner of my mind. not thinking, not feeling, not doing anything really. its juz this empty sickly feeling, similar to what one feels when at the losing end of a chess game.

a warm hug is nothing but a myth. a sweet word is nothing but a farce.

maybe i'm juz waiting to see whether there will be anyone at the end of it all waiting for me. juz waiting. i do apologise if i seem to make little sense in this entry, but its one of those things that u juz struggle to reign in with words.

all i wanna do rite now though, is juz cloak myself in this vast darkness and wait.