the reality of sin

it was good fun while it lasted i suppose, but pretty soon we're going to have to revert back to our brutish lives. its kinda amusing really, i dont think i would fit the personality profile of a manic depressive, but hey weirder things have happened; for example the tv show Lifeline.

i sorta find comfort in my room, this sanctuary that affords me the protection from everything else that is happening around-- albeit a messy sanctuary. there is something soothing in the mess that surrounds my bed, whispering in my ear constantly that there are no expectations; no demands. but being a recluse is hardly an option, though the grotto that is my messy room is definitely a tantalizing enclave. in response to this, i do believe that i'm starting to care little about what other people may say, or think for that matter. our actions have always been governed not by our sheer will, but by the expectations and demands of others around us, and the ability to pull myself away from this curse as we may have it, is simply liberating. but then again, how successful can any one ever be?

weekends are always welcomed, because it gives me the opportunity to turn to people. but on weekdays? my mind as a companion would suffice.

you will never be so lonely, till you tell yourself that you are.