randomness

well school's officially over. would do up a proper post on that soon. so i guess the struggle's on right now, much to my displeasure. i cant seem to kick the habit of being self- destructive. oh well.

for now, that's all folks.

syn.tax., channel axe the axiom; singapore.

randomness

well school's officially over. would do up a proper post on that soon. so i guess the struggle's on right now, much to my displeasure. i cant seem to kick the habit of being self- destructive. oh well.

for now, that's all folks.

syn.tax., channel axe the axiom; singapore.

poem.

Bright Shadows

You set my head on fire.
Like a fat orange caterpillar, it devours
Every inch of my wick,
And as though fatigued by indigestion;
It perspires.
Beads of solid sweat trickle
Down
My Erection,
Like fertile semen caressing a cold penis,
Only to create ugly babies at its feet.
Time guarantees a smoky demise,
And a hazy reminder of black cotton
To greet the end of my function.
The wax rests; here.


- October 2006

boredom

i feel so terribly lazy. its not just the 'i-dont-want-to-mug' kind of laziness, rather its the 'i-dont-want-to-do-anything' kind. msn's been pretty dead lately, and that doesnt help things.

it's taken me 18 whole years to realise; i have no life.

decorum

it is almost impossible to change an entrenched mind- set. once you think that you've figured out a person, his habits and his personality, that perspective more or less remains; unchangeable. its so ridiculously easy to place a person under a set category or classification, where once he displays a certain peculiarity or fulfills a certain prerequisite let's say, off he is whisked to a specific grouping. class joker. the smart one. the annoying one. the list goes on really.

people like to claim they know things about other people, don't get me wrong, they have all the right to do so. but the thing is, its all so darn silly. and what's more incredulous, is that no matter how much we try to say that we are not of these 'people'-- which is in itself a claim-- we are all equally guilty of it. how many times have we seen people put down others like michael jackson for example, for being 'weird'? or robbie williams for being 'gay' (i'm not saying that its a negative, but realistically, there are bigots out there who regard it as a derogatory statement)? plenty really, and more often than not, these people arent in a position to make such calls to begin with. it all just makes life that much more unpleasant.

i've long moved from desiring the ability to actively change people's mind- sets; its an impossible dream. its pure folly, and it's made all that much harder for one who is himself a victim of 'set perceptions'. what more, any such change can only begin from within; when a quiet, calming, wise and yet sad awareness or spirit awakens deep down inside.

some might dismiss this rant without giving a second thought to it, others may adopt a different stand and regard this entry as little more than a simple commentary laced with paranoia, why some kinder souls may not even bother to read it through. in the arrogance of its verbosity, this entry would have done little to make any impact or set thoughts stirring. why the provenance itself might shoulder some of such glorified responsibility too. but it matters little, for i have nothing to prove.

man is by nature wary of what is said, and more wary of what is not said. instinct some call it, nothing but pure instinct. if you're confused by now, and wondering what this entry is trying to get at; i have only one thing to say...

you be the judge.

sing fat lady, sing!!

a deceptive lull has has fallen over my days, and like a big fat old lady with inertia scratched on her bones; it seems unmoveable. every bit of me that is rational and logical is pleading for the overthrow of such sloth, but we all know how the script goes.

i would love to label it as the teenage dilemma, but a quick glance at other people (when i say this, i mean non A53 people) would be enough for one to ascertain that this 'dilemma' is unnervingly localized and scarily specific. not convinced? a recent medical survey has proven that 65% more VJ students would complain about stiff necks and other complications around this time of year due to hours of craning their necks over notes. in fact i fall under that particular 65% too, though i think mine is a result of denys being a pain in the neck more than mugging.

amidst all the statistics and figures, it occured to me that my dear classmate daryl would lodge his own complaint to the surveyors without batting an eyelid, though his would be a special case of 'pain in the foot'. but then again, daryl has had a foot injury since bismarck was appointed chancellor, so he might not count.

as the days wind down to the official end of jc life, and as each day becomes more treasured for its little memories, i always tell myself that i've been part of something really special these past 2 years. i mean hey, when you're in A53, and when the whole class just walks out of school in full knowledge that an econs lecture is about to start in 5 mins; you know you're part of something particularly special.

but then again, it was econs lecture and the last time we had a full attendance for that was when daryl had his first foot injury. and we all know how recent that was.