oh the shark, babe, has such teeth dear.

its no big secret that many people think i have weird taste in music. in a world where the louder they bang and screech the better the quality of 'music', its no wonder why. taking nothing away from other ppl's pet genre, i juz think tt the whole jazz and big band thing is juz a class act above other types of music.

musicians like sinatra, dean martin, louis armstrong and nat king cole are juz cool. there's no other way to put it. to sing those songs that they sing juz requires tt level of charisma and charm that only very ppl possess. and hell, these guys have it in abundance.

u juz got to listen to martin and sinatra's mack the knife duet to noe what i mean. these guys have the sheer audacity to tweak a classic into something that juz screams coolness. hell sinatra was practically talking as the band was playing behind him AND he did it in tune and along with the music. buble tried to do sumfink like that for his cover of mack the knife, but even the 'smooth one' couldnt pull it off. and tt's saying a lot. his cover of sway is practically THE jazz song of today.

if u still think tt tt's nothing and say tt current musicians like 50 cent can 'rap' the way Sinatra did, then u dunnoe how wrong u are. no doubt 50 cent did his 'thang' well, but sinatra's was well this amalgam of singing and talking, quite different from rap altogether.

i can go on and on abt this really, but juz noe this, jazz and big band songs are cool, elegant, soothing and have some of the best lyrics around. cheers folks-

and he shows them, pearly white-

catch that damn nose

i cant really be bothered by all the flak really. so childish.

anw am feeling quite shitty, stupid throat and nose. but on the bright side, vj is thru to the semis for JCDCs. taking nothing away from sajc, i thought they really pushed the team till the end and well they do have quite a good crop of debaters this year. but hey, that's debate i guess. someone has to lose.

its hard to be pensive when ur nose threatens to squeeze itself senseless. so more thoughts at another time. cheers folks-

the world in a swing.

its funny how my existence has been reduced to nightly swings in the school garden where i do nothing but think of crafting a poem. listening to the rhythmic swings of that rusty contraption,while looking at the stars and indulging in the luxury of the soothing nite breeze, u dont want to do anything but juz give shape to those amorphous thoughts that float mockingly in your mind.

but sumtimes even this would juz wear u out. wear u out thin. and when ur nothing more than a single ply, it hits u. hits u hard. how lonely we all really are.

i usually look to the stars for comfort. thinking, that no matter what that i could always, always pick a star to keep me company. juz pluck one out of the vaulted sky and dwindle it between my fingers. but how foolish of me.

we are ultimately alone. alone with nothing but our thoughts. its funny really. we try to surround ourselves with friends and enemies, thinking that at the end of it all there would at least be someone there waiting for u. without a care in the world if it be friend or foe, at least, there would be sumone. but loneliness is a fate that awaits us all. just as we are born alone, the gaping mouth of the grave also only awaits one. how foolish of me.

hey, i noe it does sound a tad over- dramatic, but nowadays i juz seem to find myself alone. even in the hustle and bustle of the school day, there would be pockets where i would juz lock myself away in the corner of my mind. not thinking, not feeling, not doing anything really. its juz this empty sickly feeling, similar to what one feels when at the losing end of a chess game.

a warm hug is nothing but a myth. a sweet word is nothing but a farce.

maybe i'm juz waiting to see whether there will be anyone at the end of it all waiting for me. juz waiting. i do apologise if i seem to make little sense in this entry, but its one of those things that u juz struggle to reign in with words.

all i wanna do rite now though, is juz cloak myself in this vast darkness and wait.

manhunt

its uber tiresome thinking abt depressing things. what more i have been wrongfully accused of blogging like a suicidal girl. thus, i shall blog about the hunks of 05a53. seeing how denys made that lil silly hollywood list i shall respond with a list of my own:

shawn is......damn blardie fast. (he is the fastest boy in singapore)
bob is...........a rastafarian.
daryl is........violent. haha.
andrew is....a handsome fat man.
leslie is.........the class mop.
bertrand is..love! hahaha.
amoz is........late.
divyesh is....wait make that "are" many things.
sulas is.........in this list.
denys is.......a faggot.

i noe mr harris would frown upon the use of "faggot" but honestly nothing was more apt.

oh happy days =]

what a wonderful world.

american massacre at my lai, vietnam 1968

american massacre at haditha, iraq 2006.

saddening. that's what this is, saddening. that's right, what you see are the corpses of babies, brutally thrown out of this world by the stupidity of war.

who is to blame for all this?

back in 1968, out of the 26 military personnel charged with the massacre of my lai, only one person was ever punished. lt. william calley was sentenced to 3 1/2 years of house arrest. that's right, house arrest. doesnt this juz make u see trees of green and clouds of white?

and now, we have hell in lebanon. when will we ever learn?

never maybe.

and i think to myself, what a wonderful world.

look ma, its the shah!

take a quick moment folks to savour the blatant irony. why not too long ago, the 'progressive' shah of iran was the poster boy of the american nuclear industry. my, my. how times have changed.

just savour the irony.

sluggish sundays

i'm oh so sluggish on sunday mornings. procrastination, the order of the day. but looking as to how prelims are coming in about 40 days or so, i think i mite juz have to click into working gear soon. essentially depriving myself of my carefree sundays. bah.

anyway, things are all pretty clear for me now.

i noe what i want.

all i need is a

yes.

makes sense, really.

we always try to decipher what someone else is thinking about. read into gestures, words. thinking, praying, hoping, wishing, that like an open book, revelation would cascade down the pages and into our laps.

never works that way really.

a late sms? the absence of a smiley perhaps? or maybe how the "hahas" dont seem to stretch on as far as usual? these things push our minds into a perpetual overdrive, a vain attempt to uncover a meaning that hey may not even be there in the first place.

we know this of course. but we fall into the same old dusty routine every single time. blame it on the natural instinct of human optimism. blame it on the desire to be appreciated. blame it on the human ego.

people do say that some wishful thinking never hurt anyone. not quite true really. we read so much into things, or sumtimes to little, that we set such high expectations. and we noe how the story goes from there. happily ever afters never do end juz like tt. cinderella is bound to get a divorce, snow white is bound to be poisoned yet again and hell she mite even have an affair wif one of the dwarves. that's life.

the more you love, the greater the possibility of being hurt. the same old dusty routine.

all we can do i guess is happily wait. yes, wait. and if you would like to, pray i guess while you wait. wait for more gestures. wait for more words. wait for a sign. wait for a yes. playing pretend as we await nicely within ourselves.

same old dusty routine.

of hwa chong and wooden lecture tables.

hwa chong invites today, thought that the vipers did well. 2 wins and a good fight against ri. speaking of ri, the dudes went on to claim the title. and like i said juz now, huever is gonna take over as coach of ri is gonna have a tough act to follow. u noe big shoes to fill, coz its shengwu we're talking about here. o before i forget, cat high did rather well too i thought. their team is shaping up nicely and showing some promise. jgs is gonna be mighty interesting come next yr looking at things rite now.

anw it was fun catching up wif the vj seniors and the ri dudes again and hell, the vipers r a fun bunch. weird, but fun. from darren's laughing to cheryl's "this is a naughty question", it was..... refreshing. hahaha.

well i'm not really a fan of blogging abt how my day went, but i figured that hey this at least deserves some special mention. so well yea, rock on.

the witching hour.

there's juz somefink attractive about the night, this strange quality that somehow softens the heart and calmly persuades the most stubborn of minds to submit to its will. we whisper our secrets to it, embrace it, try to immerse ourselves in its vastness, entrust it with our thoughts and allow it to touch our hearts. the night is our friend, or foe, our master, our servant. always there, always listening. never judging. what eats at me though is the thought that the day would come, that one fateful day, when even the night deserts us.

god forbid.

who will listen then?

what eats at me too is how much falling hurts. u fall and fall, hopeful, that perhaps someone might be there to juz catch you.

foolish really.

falling is juz that. falling.

funny how it eats and gnaws and is never, not even once, satiated.

yes another poem.

the encounter

Lawrence never knew.

twisted smiles of happy
plastic;
read like an ode to a
rabid dog.
nameless emotion that soaks the liver- wet shirt,
thumbing the strings that mouth words of- love
that reverberate deeply in her
breast pocket.
tracing the mound of her palm,
convinced in the false map of her country,
i thought it was me
that slight air between you and what you reached for,
me;
that emotion that soaks deep into your weave.
i was wrong.

and

Lawrence never knew.


-july 2006

the 3rd wave

well its another blog started. i would normally open my blogs on a grand note, u noe, proclaiming the arrival of the new messiah of truth and yada yada. usual rubbish. but hey i have digs on this blog lasting a grand total of 2 days, so lets juz keep the grand opening ceremony under wraps.