and we come full circle

quite frankly, i have no idea how to begin this entry. and as unglamorous a start that may have been, i guess it would have to suffice.

i've been reduced to nothing more than a mere function. the equivalent of worn out 'enter' button. it's funny how life used to throw you curveball after curveball, and then suddenly it all stops. it's as though life grew tired of you, and forgot you like an unwelcomed aunt. and what're you left with then? nothing but monotony. instead of spending your life anticipating the next ball and thinking of ways to not only beat its trajectory but hitting the ball back, you get pressed and pressed and pressed, to sum up someone else's sentence and begin another one for them.

it begins well usually, but once the fanfare dies down, all you're left with is the dull noise of being pressed upon.

i guess i crave for more. but then you begin to think. did you actually manage to dodge that curveball at all? or did you get hit, again and again and again, just like that 'enter' button?

i've lived my entire life in the shadows of the past. circumcising both fact and logic to cleanse a memory that had no right to exist in the first place. i sought solace in the care and understanding of those i knew, but then i realised that even though i've always been well known, i've never been well liked. far from it even.

other people bask in the sunlight of friendships, but me? i shelter myself in the pockets of tolerance. maybe because that's all i can manage.

it's all too messy, too disorganized, too scrambled to decipher, but those dull thuds continue to haunt me. i'm too pesky and troublesome for people i guess. impossible to deal with. maybe i should just disappear like friction- worn lettering on buttons; pressed beyond redemption.

i've never been well liked. and we now come full circle.

solace

Melody

The world is a jukebox,
Playing every imaginable sound.
Those that bound, glide, spring and sing,
Promiscuous in corners, and bears itself for a dime.
You never know what symphony awaits
At the end of a busy Singaporean street,
The chorus of life, soft, in a heart beat.
If you’re quiet you will hear,
The hymn of the nightingale seducing the sunlit sky,
The hushed whispers of aunties scampering for truth,
The apologetic screech of rubber on tar,
The desperate horn, rude and uncouth;
And the understanding sigh of the boy lying on the street,
Songless and lifeless-- from his eyes to his feet.

person of the year

putin was named as time's person of the year for 2007. that's right, putin.

vladimir vladimirovich putin.

for all you bono and hady mirza fans out there, my hearts mourns with you. putin is undoubtedly an interesting choice, considering time's person of the year recognition is not an accolade and but an acknowledgement of an individual's impact as a global force, and in that right we can see how putin may have justified his selection. his strong hand has steadied a ship that has long been wandering in the open seas without any direction and one that has struggled to shrug off the long shadows of its communist past. however, in direct contrast to the very merry yeltsin, putin is a throwback to the russian (and even communist) leaders of old, and it remains to be seen whether his style of leadership will lead to another era of repression reminiscent of stalin and brezhnev.

however, a strong russia on the world map is and always has been a welcomed option. its geopolitical significance can never be underestimated, and its eventual resurrection will offer the world an alternative to american hegemony. such promising signs can even be seen in the current iranian and north korean issue, with russia having a major say in the former by continuing the shipment of nuclear materials to iran and brokering deals with the latter. with putin at the helm or with him pulling the strings for his successor in his capacity as the premier, the world can be assured that russia will once again rise from the ashes as it once did.

but i've always thought that gore would have clinched the title though. not that i like him or anything, in fact i do think he impresses me as some twat from a disney commercial gone wrong, but he has raised awareness for our current environmental dilemma and popularized the term 'climate change'. the impact he has had on the international political arena has been unprecedented at the very least. the world has never seen environmental issues having a major say in scuplting the dynamics of international relations, and even though these effects cannot be attributed to gore directly, we cannot deny that he had a major say in making the world stand up and take notice.

in other news, hady mirza won asian idol (cues nationalistic glee). even though i'm starting to suspect that our dear idol's vocal abilities are indeed a tad suspect and that taufik might have done a better job, this writer urges one and all to set aside the conspiracy theories and bask in the fact that singapore actually beat the other countries in a SINGING competition.

hey at least it wasnt joakim gomez representing us-

back in black

alright, so i'm back after an annoying couple of weeks where i had to reformat my computer for a total of 7 times. many apologies. at any rate, i have got to enjoy my whole week of leave. this MUST include meeting up with Suhas before he flies off for some desolate corner in god forsaken Tanzania (a.k.a. Oxford to the uninitiated) and organise a class outing where i actually turn up.

in the meantime, i do urge everyone to indulge in the foo fighters' latest fare, 'The Pretenders'. Its a rather addictive song and testimony that there is life after Pat Smear. Cheers-

who ate the BK fish?

well i did talk about girls in an earlier post, so let's talk about guys now. no, this is not a momentous "coming out of the closet" entry. there is no closet, and i am not in any closet. nonetheless, it does make an interesting topic. boys i mean. not closets.

originally i wanted to talk about blogging, but a certain leprechaun by the name of christine decided that boys would be a better topic. and right about now, i'm anticipating a broken nose =]

as we all should know by now, the sexiest guy alive list came out recently, and well matt damon won it by a mile. aside from the usual complaints of "why am i not on the list!", and "why didnt i win it?!!?", which naturally stemmed from a myopic voting populace and a bias system in general, i thought the list was ok. but honestly, how does one judge and evaluate sexuality? i doubt women even have an inkling individually, much less reach a cohesive agreement amongst themselves.

it's the ultimate paradox. they want someone mysterious (elmer fudd of warner bros fame), someone charming (see Imran, Muhd), someone strong (see Tan, Denys), and basically fulfill that Jake Ryan figure that every woman lusts after. But in reality, they want that cushy guy who will shop with them, who will listen to their feelings, spout cheesy nothings and serve that ever illusive 'breakfast in bed'. now that my friends, are really high expectations and mind you, we just can't live up to all of them.

we are who we are, and you gotta live with or leave it all behind. live with it preferably.

you know what? women should have that personal checklist, and make it public. that way-- when we make an application-- we can have a rough estimate if we can make the grade (the male ego is definitely a wonderful thing) and move on! now wouldnt that be much easier!

it would of course make courtship as interesting as my facebook profile page, but hey it would make things so much easier for us martians! direct, and simple. plus, it would serve to solve one out of two of the world's greatest mysteries. the other of course, is to figure out why gurmit singh and adrian pang are appearing on every god damn show on channel 5.

p.s. they call it being 'devilishly charming', and i know you know it to be true =]